I, sea coward (one piece SI)
by ACrossixx
Summary: One day I had happened to get bored, and so I made a space battles account but little did I know it would lead to be battling the many, many characters within one Piece. Or, (how I ruined canon and attempted to take over the world with a "logia". ) p.s: taking over the world of one piece isn't as easy as I imagined..
1. Chapter 1 - tis but a flesh wound

AN: ah shit I had to repost this but anywho. Here! enjoy my bad writing and me ruining canon. Don't trust me to update soon or well... at all bc of irl junk. Or me being very very lazy.

Chapter one - 'tis but a fleshwound.

_

You suddenly just find yourself smiling whenever you get in an _ironic_ situation? A very _impossible_ situation? Because as my door was effortlessly disintegrated from the confinement that was existence.

(even though this all should have never been possible in the first place.)  
I realized that was exactly what I was doing as of now.

The man dusted himself off, attempting to look decent for his next victim! (me obviously.)

he pointed to my computer screen without any hesitation in himself; he had business here, but why? I never got that question answered at all.

He cleared his throat, soon giving me a wide grin. that seemed to be no good at all because when someone dressed in a sinister way grins it never should in the first place. Meanwhile, I noted that his movements were all very methodical and believe it or not, intimidating somewhat.

He certainly wasted no time glancing at the wrist watch on his arm. His voice was somehow calming as he addressed me.

"Drop in? Or would you like to highjack a insignificant background characters body. I won't go ahead and omit things from you boy, because honestly the choices are endless. I've wasted enough time already, now, pick before I drop being buddy-buddy with you alright?"

His, the ROB's voice, had an irrevocableness to it and it told me that he wouldn't be persuaded at all in the first place to begin with. Damn! This was helped with his British accent.  
(Wait, that wasn't there before- let's ignore that, okay?)

In short, He sounded like one of those more so than sinister characters in your older Saturday cartoons. My eyes made themselves to the small box the entity had to the side earlier, it, was now sitting on my coffee table. I had no room to complain whatsoever.

His face twisted into an odd dance that held what I assumed as a strange form of amusement. His aforementioned grin growing more, and more.

Soon I found myself speaking back to the omnipotent being that wanted something to do, sadly this time it involved me and I regretted now forming my space battles account(that site is flooded with ROB's.) since I'm being ROBed as of now.

"So... no way to decline is there?" The omnipotent man rolled his eyes. Shit. "Since that's a no I'll just go with drop in.  
Most likely I'll just fall on the floor and die.."  
I had no confidence in myself.

Blurring in its movement suddenly the box that I'd avoided loved to be fucking relevant now of all times and it flowed red soon hovering in place.

Reaching into it he pulled out a card that read. 'One Piece' now. Basically?

Big mom. if I made that far would make me her bitch just like expected.

Many others would be another problem too, before that? I'd still have other shit to deal with if I made to go that far and so.

I was very, very fucked: (note to self: find straw-hats.) he gave a laugh at my problems and he seemed to not regret it at all whatever.

Without any words he snapped and I soon found myself falling at concerning speeds.

And as expected of someone that hated heights? I yelled my head off my (manly) voice echoing throughout the air.


	2. Chapter 2 - you would not believe it

A/N: well, heres the chapter. enjoy!

* * *

You'd think whenever I landed on a _random_ island with a large ass rainforest and a beach like area that if looked past to see the vast never ending oceans I'd turn to go search for some food within the fucking depths of the area that was currently raining cats and dogs like it didn't matter but instead I froze within my spot.

from within something bubbled to the surface and I recognized it seconds after.

The something being a large amount of fear and panic.

Beforehand. I'd been napping on the warm sand until the thing had been nice enough to just simply give a hand, a cold one albeit it was just a-

**_SPLASH!_**

"WAH! _WEEETT_! SHIT, FUCK, FUCK—" I flew up in a panic. Stumbling to my feet I noted my obviously too wet clothing and now? An annoying lack of my shoes and socks that I was sure I'd have had on. I continued my attitude which let to my bemoaning.

I had some anger and I quickly kicked the sand in a fit of rage and maybe some sort of retaliation at the _ROB_ whom had placed me here as some sort of joke. But of course he was the only one in the situation getting a laugh out of it all. Wiping my face I looked out to only see a wide ocean and of course more sand.

It was obvious that this area wasn't my living room, that was for sure. But now? I was sure I couldn't panic, because as soon as I panicked something would jump to establish that I was now food. I was going to avoid the outcomes in which I'd die or worse.

(If possible at all.)

Lets see: I could live as usual, be an ordinary person but the fact of the matter is that my skills were writing bad stories, telling mediocre jokes, and video games. Yeah, nothing all too good to survive on a fucking island at all. I planned to survive because I wasn't keen on the idea of testing if there was an afterlife or not. I'd leave that up to someone else.

Fix the plot? No, because if I picked to fuck up the entire story I'd have useless knowledge. Feeling on myself I grinned, and pulling out my I-phone it seemed to have a full charge and wasn't destroyed whenever I fell onto the beach. That was good.

A notification ping? Soon I'd discover that my cell phone didn't need to be charged at all! And if the damned ROB was to be believed, I now had WiFi on top of these things. Means I could keep up with oda and his manga. Good

**Ding**!

-obviously the best ROB:  
[went ahead and decided to give you some good perks, enjoy! I know I will, especially since it gives you a chance.]

I took off my soaked jacket, it. Was now less than enjoyable to have on. Back to the focus: I would need to have power.

to _survive_, because there was no way I was taking on anything that the main cast couldn't handle if I didn't have something to help myself throughout everything.

Thankfully, the thing that would help me was laying on the sand, what was it you may be asking? Obviously the all powerful man had been nice enough and decided to hand over what was now mine. As I moved over to grab the fruit I compared it to a peach. Yet, the fruit was of a black color with an odd and white rippling pattern all over itself.

I had assumed this was a devil fruit and for all I know I could very well be eating something else instead of a fruit that would give me a superpower and junk; the fruit smelled less than pleasant instead going to smell like meat that had gone bad and the texture of the fruit didn't help either. I swallowed nervously and without anything holding me back? I took a big ass bite out of it the fruit giving an audible — **CRUNCH**!

The taste made me backpedal. And spit it onto the sandy ground in which I heaved and gagged on the absolutely horrible taste of the infamous fruit. The cast of one piece downplayed how bad it was! Begrudgingly I began to eat what I had spat out along with the rest of the shitty tasting fruit. I'd need it if I wanted to live and do I forced myself to eat it all, every last bite made me gag and obviously it wasn't pleasant. At the end of it all I was breathing hard and my stomach felt like the worst It'd ever been. Wiping my mouth I coughed some; The experience had not been worth it at all.

Was there anything else I had to do as of now? I'd eaten what I'd assumed and it better have been a devil fruit already so I'd just have to go find some actual food — because devil fruits certainly weren't good if I had any say in the matter! As I thought everything through I'd decided that it was time to go in the depths of the forest. A forest that could kill me if I wasn't careful at all.

* * *

The walk within the vast jungle was very boring. Unless, you find me being slapped in the face repeatedly by branches entertainment? I'd also then discovered my love for ...how creative I could get with my vocabulary and now hated vines with a burning passion, now I'd never willingly ever do anything like this again because you know what? Fuck jungles and fuck the trees the Lorax can go kiss my ass.

Going past a clearing of grass. I sighed, immediately I tried to catch my breath the walking making me wish that I'd been allowed to just do nothing. But instead I chose to keep going my stumbling evident as I moved onwards. "fucking forest.. dumb ass trees!" I narrowed my eyes in frustration.

Still. Mother Nature was not one bit kind, wanting to make it rain harder and ruin me more than the jungle had in the first place. "Fuck!" I yelled in anger, turning I kicked the tree in an expression of my emotions I felt like I looked. Like absolute shit.

A laugh bubbled from my throat as I fell on my ass and leaned back against a tree to wait under; it was somewhat safe as the rain had not been able to penetrate through the greenery that was the leaf. as far as I could tell, the island as a whole was deserted and the only one on it was well, me.

No one would be coming for me. I knew that and it sucked so much that I wanted to cry and I almost did. Tears welling in my eyes I wiped them off and stumbled back onto my feet. No, I wouldn't give up, because this was all bullshit! He wanted entertainment? Fine. A smile lit on my face as I moved out and through the rain.

First, I knew that I didn't know where I was. Hell, my phone didn't know where I was so that was a bust I quickly realized that I only had Spotify, the games on my phone the messaging app and all of one pieces manga. And everything else was restricted. Fuck.

I didn't count on running into the main characters because that wasn't as likely as many would have it seem. Hell, it was more likely that I'd starve before I got into the main plot. And so? I'd began to explore the island and test out if I had any powers on the side. The next 5 months on the unknown island was a hell for me.


	3. Chapter 3 - an ocean muse

That _island_ had broken me more so than you'd expect. Needing to survive had made me more willing to toss away all of my morals in favor of not dying on the off chance that an animal like say the lions that I had been running from a few weeks ago, I'd been surprised at my improvement and thanked Mother Nature or better yet that _damn ROB_ for pushing me this far.

Though, I'm sure you'd rather hear about something else right? Well, the first week there I was simply _cold, hungry, and very, very tired._ Why? The damn jungle had made me super paranoid and now I had abandoned the joys of napping entirely.

During one of my scavenges I happened to be lucky enough to find a fancy pen and a notebook full of incoherent writings I chose to ignore it as I couldn't understand it at all I hadn't discovered any food so I guessed that the local animals whom were smart enough opened the bag and skipped off with the many goodies that could have been there inside the white bag.

I had said bag worn on my person because the thing was honestly too cool to be left out in the middle of nowhere land.

Going throughout the large greenery I wiped wet off my forehead this was followed by a tired, clearly exhausted sigh.

Yeah, the rainforest here got pretty warm very, very fast and it was best to keep moving for it wasn't safe to stay in a Single spot.

I had no clue where I was right now, but I had apparently stumbled upon a boat that was perfectly fine. Licking my lips, I knew exactly where I was going now within the world of one piece.

To the fucking Baratie to try and get some meat because as of now? I was very tired of eating fruit and other bullshit. (Screw fruit man.)

And as I got my things to leave deep down somewhere I had the feeling that the ROB was enjoying himself. very much. And that was when I'd made the promise to make canon my bitch by any means possible.

An hour into the journey to the place that was the Baratie I had passed out from exhaustion and hunger. 'My ass deserved this nap' was what I thought to myself as I waited it out.


	4. Chapter 4 - Hell's Kitchen part 1

"_floating oasis_", was the term used for the restaurant that happened to be in the middle of fuck knows where.

I had woken up to sunrise and the restaurant itself was only a few feet away.

I had been surprised at how lucky I was to find the damned place after all I hadn't really done any navigating to begin with and I was basically blind to a large degree.

To make matters worse I was a devil fruit user that hadn't used their powers in actual combat (unless you count when I ruined my favorite shirt?) yet or even bothered to get a lackey that was dumb and disposable.

Y'know, like Karin from naruto? If I was going to rule all of the seas I'd need some support to get further like.. yes! After this I'd immediately go to learn some Haki, because god, the stuff is useful as hell in this universe.

*clears throat*

Slightly evil ranting aside I'd ignored my hunger pains in favor of going inside of the amazing thing that was the Baratie.

I'd have to make sure that I'd either cripple or out right kill that son of a bitch Don Keg or whatever his name was. He was irrelevant any who so I guess it didn't matter what happened to him.

As usual for restaurants I'd ordered and sat. a grin on my face (yes the ROB had been nice enough to include a good amount of money as so I could pay for needed things, though the stack of cash had never even been there beforehand but who was I to question the ways of an all powerful being?)

Sooner than later a character I could not remember good enough gave me some food that wasn't goddamned fruit for once! Without hesitation I ate with more gusto than I'd ever been able to muster within the core of my entire being.

As I ate I smiled somewhat and was surprised to hear what sounded like a fucking cannon. I shrugged, my hunger was more important than that dumb ass that was Luffy and his gang of idiots. But just ignoring them wasn't enough — **_Boom_**! as a large cannon ball came directly at me. And it obliterated the wall behind me.

My eyes widened at how fast the thing seemed to actually be moving and I was thankful that it had missed instead of hitting me in the face. (My dodging skills were ass.) I don't imagine I'd be able to live if I tried to tank that thing at full force.

The explosion that followed afterwards could be compared to gods wrath as it threw hard and with enough force somehow had happened to just send me onto the floor. Meanwhile my meal had.. fallen onto the floor it's appearance ruined. Clenching my fists I felt myself get more angry than I'd ever been within this stupid ass universe called one piece.

I was going to attempt to either kill monkey D. Luffy or die trying. Quickly, I had leaped onto balcony of the first floor My fists shaking in anger. My angry gaze made itself to the sight of what happened to be a blackened flag with its symbol being a straw-hat wearing skull of all things.

Moving over to where I'd seen the proclaimed king of pirates he'd been doing what a Luffy did. Which was basically talking to Sanji and in turn the cook Zeff yelling at Luffy that he'd have to work for him an entire year, and like expected Luffy had refused.

(let's be honest here, he was more worried about finding the one piece than he was whenever it came to the restaurant. Working here for a year would fuck him over so much it wouldn't even be funny.)

instead going in for a compromise which happened to be shorter than what was demanded of him. As I heard them speak I began to make an introduction to them all and then eventually punch Luffy into the fucking sea (he ruined my food.)

I wasn't one of those protagonists that wanted to change things like ace dying because why would I? Ace is irrelevant to me more than you'd think. So, yeah, I was worried about myself. (How could I save someone I'd never even meet? Plus, fix-it protagonists suck ass)

I knew in the back of my head I'd have to knock the straw hats off of the playground if I wanted less of a challenge but then again who would take back dressrosa if I killed off every last straw hat right now? No one.

So I'd have to settle for beating the fuck out of Luffy until I had everything my way.

What broke me out of my thoughts was Sanji offering Gin the ability to come back any time he wanted to and I wanted in that instance to go stop the man from getting back to his captain but I decided against it. Maybe I'd get the chance to use my devil fruit in a combat scenario after all.

I'd let canon continue instead going in favor to simply look at the blue skies and the white clouds which made many shapes and images for any that happened to gaze upon them at all. As Gin moved from the Baratie I heared Zeff telling them what to do (which ended horribly for all involved) or rather yelling at sanji and Luffy. And gave a small grin.

Days later trouble came back with Gin.


	5. Chapter 4 - Hell's Kitchen part 2

Fun fact! - the SI was originally going to get the magma logia

Basically, What happened was simple actually. After begging enough they'd gotten themselves a small meal which had seemed to be enough for Krieg but it wasn't and so I wasn't _surprised_ whenever Krieg had acted fast, now in the act of decking sanji and after such an act said he'd be taking the ship as a whole for himself. Pretty soon Krieg's large cloak was thrown off revealing amazing golden armor which _gleamed_ in the ever present sun light.

Zeff attempted to give Krieg a large bag of food. I admit the way it was done was bad ass though. I wondered how strong Zeff really was as he and Krieg conversed. Though from my hiding spot I couldn't hear it very well. I guess it didn't matter did it?

Moving my attention to somewhere else I noted that Zoro was losing _bad_ (somehow, worse than in the fucking manga) don't think he even got close to landing a hit on that man. _Ouch_, that was so damn one-sided dude. Is Zoro about to cry? aDamn. I think this is the equivilent of krillin vs perfect cell. Obviously Zoro is krillin in this scenario.

"I think this is a good enough time for me to step in." I muttered to myself as I moved out of where I had been watching. Luffy turned to see me and widened his eyes some. "Hey! You're that creepy guy from yesterday aren't you?" I gave a glare at him calling me creepy and there I was tempted to punch him now. But that could happen later we had bigger fish to fry. "Save name calling for later and after we beat that bastard Krieg alright!?" I directed my stare at Krieg and knew that I was being pumped with the amazing thing known as Adrenaline.

Growing closer I gave a nervous slash Excited grin and there I activated my devil fruit. paint oozed itself onto the floors meanwhile; I reminded myself that I hadn't used it for at most a month tops! Due to wanting to push myself and what not.

Back on the island... I managed to find out I wasn't a logia, but I had managed to snatch myself a 'special' paramecia which was why I wasn't going to complain about at all because _why would I? _There are worse fruits out there if you think about it. Gritting my teeth I began to produce something which could be identified by the strong smell alone: now? I could in fact _produce, manipulate, and turn into Paint._

A _wave_ of color slammed into one the pirates that thought it a good idea to step in front of me and I grinned as there was a loud — **_SNNAPP!_**  
Anyone who got in the way was swept aside as I dashed in front of Luffy whom was beating down on Krieg without too much troubles.

My fist morphed into paint and I had it surge forward to give Krieg a nasty punch. Even more Sounds of fighting echoed outward and as I and Luffy both punched Krieg into the face blood falling onto the floor of the ship.

"I can't belive it!" Someone gasped out in surprise. "They're beating the captain! T—that's .. Impossible!" Another voice echoed onto the other one. I'd almost felt something for them all. They'd probably joined kreig because they had nothing else working for them in life. If so, I could sadly relate to it. But.

Pretty soon the man known as Krieg was kneeling for a few seconds. Until he decided to come back in with a damaging attack I'd been only able to move out of the way from because of Luffy. I let out an exhausted breath.

I don't think I've ever used my devil fruit - the Toryo toryo no mi so damned long.  
Gin came out and tossed something. "We're not over yet!" He bellowed loudly. He sounded angry too.

The large bloodied form of Krieg grinned as he easily caught what happened to be his infamous stake launcher — "you're lucky Gin, if I'd lost your head would have been on the chopping block, good thing you still know your place! Here take this!"— the one he'd used to beat the shit out of Luffy. I stepped backwards, Krieg attacked without mercy! _**B-BABOOF!**_ Now, the stakes going outward in a _blur_.

I bit back a Yell of pain as _multiple_ hit me in my arm. Thinking fast, and remembering what katakuri did. I began reforming my body to dodge them quickly. Moving over to the left with a great deal of success my fist grew large and throwing a punch the fist now made of paint flew at kreig. It detached and was rocketing past at impressive speeds. "Toryo toryo: OPERATION! Take this krieg!"

I yelled, surprised to find that that voice was.. me? Me of all people! Hell, I didn't even _yell before I got here so.. what all changed? _Coming back from thinking I managed To see Luffy use his own significant attack. This time it happened to be the one that sent our foe on the defensive. That proved to be pointless as my and Luffy's attacks proved how hard it was to kill or cripple us in any way. We even broke through the surprise that was: a _spiked cape for lord sakes! And then he attempted to use a flame thrower.. that failed also.  
_  
Next we were simply dodging or not effected by majority of his attacks and that proved to be making the man whom was now gritting his teeth very upset. He spat blood onto the floor his eyes sending a glare. "You've forced my hand.. as it is! It is.. unfortunate that you'd both have to experience something like this as of now! Crew, hurry up and put your masks on now!" His voice was louder than anyone's in the area and he acted fast and paused. "Tho not you, Gin, go jump into the sea and die with these fools!" The man known as Gin was quiet, seconds his head bowed to look at the floor.

The depressed Gin wasn't enough to stop krieg from twisting the handle on his weapon. "We have to stop him or get a mask come on Luffy!" I moved. Dust emerging as I attempted to fire a barrage of paint orbs at Kreig. Meanwhile Luffy leaped in the air, his face strained as he held his breathing. He was readying a gum gum attack.

We both came at the man named Kreig and there was a loud — _**WHAMM! **_This ended in the man getting hit rapidly and landing on the other side where he broke throughout a wall. We had _somehow won. _I gave a grunt, pulling out a stake and limping off. I escaped whilst the straw gang and their friends regrouped and whatnot.  
_  
Where _was I going? Well, I was going to go learn haki.. and if I was golden in that subject? I'd go on to then check how the hell I'd get a bounty. because I couldn't tell if this was enough to get some attention... why'd I want attention now? Because I'd grow stronger. And to do that. I'd need to rack up something to gain attention then afterwards...

I'd be able to _survive_ even more than now.


End file.
